I have spent a good amount of my life following others. I learn through observing and reading and repeating. So when I would see someone that’s perceived as beautiful, successful (or whatever it is that I was seeking), I would put that person on a pedestal. I had to be like this person to be successful, or beautiful, or healthy… the internal dialogue goes on and on.
When I discovered my spirituality, then this idol seeking started again. I wanted to find the person that had it all figured out and put together… and learn everything from them. I would think I found this person and would downgrade other spiritual teachers who didn’t think the same as the person I was following. And then I started to find things within a person’s spirituality that didn’t resonate with me… but I was confused because if they had it all figured out, then why didn’t I agree with it?
So, I would find the next spiritual teacher and follow them and the cycle continues and continues and it continues.
Suddenly… I had this realization… to stop following. It started in my yoga practice and teaching. I didn’t want to be a carbon copy of another person. I desperately needed to trust my own intuition, knowledge, and wisdom… and not second guess my own beliefs and understanding because someone has different view points.
So. I stopped trying to have the same practice as others and trusted my body everyday I stepped on the mat. I stopped trying to teach like my mentors and people I respect, and started respecting and trusting the knowledge I have gained. I simply started to trust my truth and live from that place. But within my spiritual practice I was still grasping and struggling. Why isn’t there someone like me? Why isn’t there a teacher that teaches you to question everything?!?!? Where’s the teacher that helps you be an individual thinker and believer?
I started this new territory by opening myself up. If you know me, you know I am an incredibly open person who will hear all points of view and perspectives. But I definitely headbutt a lot that doesn’t resonate with me. So I decided to just stop fighting everything and be open to the knowledge I was taking in… and recognizing that if it doesn’t resonate, then it’s just not for me. Take what you need and leave the rest.
Currently, in my spiritual practice I’ve been following Gabrielle Bernstein and a lot of what she teaches really inspires my practice. However, there are definitely things that I don’t click with… like I don’t resonate with religious verbiage. That’s a whole other conversation… but I know so many people who turn off as soon as the phrasing used commonly in religious texts come up. So I know I’m not alone here. But, instead of just shutting out her teaching because she uses a different vocabulary than myself, I just recognize my own viewpoints and how I can implement those. Take what you need and leave the rest.
I plan on studying many spiritual texts and basing my own beliefs and perspectives on how it resonates. Follow my truth. Which involves questioning everything. Being a trail blazer. And helping others realize their individual power and follow their own truths.
Sometimes I’m a contradiction, but as I discover and learn, I allow myself to grow and change. I’m not the person I was 10 years ago, 5 years ago, hell… who I was yesterday because I’m allowing myself to be open to possibilities and opportunities. I ask for signs and I follow them. And I just hope that being a good human through all of it will pay off.
I don’t care what you practice.
I don’t care what your beliefs are.
I mean, I care but I don’t care.
Be good to your fellow humans and other living beings.
Stay true to yourself and your beliefs…
And don’t let someone force you to think a certain way or change your beliefs if it doesn’t resonate.
Stay open to whatever higher power/guidance you believe in and trust your intuition.
If something doesn’t feel right for you, then listen to that.
Think for yourself.
Don’t be silenced.